Mike

Mike
Mike AKA "The Liberal Finger" Is the oldest mortal known to exist. With his real name being ZAC. ZAC is approximately 30,000,000 ears and old is the only mortal human rat chimera to discover immortality through his Virginity. ZAC synthesized his virginity into a toxic goo in an attempt to rid himself of it. This however failed as his containers being made out of rocks he found in his shit sewer began to leak and infected Mike thus granting him immortality. This led Mike on a downward spiral making him go slowly insane until one day he discovered drugs. Mike in his sewer began to experiment and eventually invented every drug in existence. Due to this many mortals see him as the ''God Of Drugs. ''After many years of being alone in his sewer doing countless amounts of drugs he was particularly fond of finger popping his asshole. This made his finger grow to enormous strength and due to Mike's liberal ideologies allows him to corrupt entire nations with one flick of his finger earning it the nick name The Liberal Finger. For nearly 20,000,000 years Mike slipped his finger in and out of the ass of society making all but the strong Liberal. Eventually one man named Bo Melvin Booker discovered Mike and teamed up with him to form the Liberal Brotherhood (LB). Mike would eventually found The Long Nines leading them for a short time and passed ownership down to Bo Melvin Booker. After Bo was taken out of power by Chan the FAR right baby voiced MAN. Mike then slipped into deep hiding after getting revenge on Chan by corrupting his cousin Harbor and his 13 year old boyfriend turning them into far left liberal's. Mike is rarely spotted by The Gas Gang in the sewers of Communist Wisconsin.

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